You might be a doula if...
The words “bloody show,” “mucus plug” and “vagina” make their way into your conversations several times a week.
“Visit The Farm” is on your bucket list.
You’ve started a list of “nurses to request” at your local hospitals.
Your phone automatically adds “cm” every time you type in a numeral and frequently auto-corrects words to “dilation.”
You can only go for so long between attending births before starting to experience withdrawal symptoms.
You used to not handle vomit well, but you’ve been utterly and thoroughly de-sensitized and no longer bat an eye when someone loses their lunch. You’re totally cool with poop too.
You secretly hope that sometime while caravanning to the hospital with a client in active labor, someone will get pulled over and you’ll both get a police escort for the rest of the drive.
It has dawned on you that if ever someone has a baby out in public as a result of a very fast labor, there is a good chance you’ll be the most qualified person around to help with the birth.
You totally want a pair of these earrings.
When people ask what you do, you patiently explain that no, you’re not a midwife, and no, you don’t catch babies. You generally say you’re a “professional labor support person” because no one knows what “doula” means. But every now and then when you start to explain, someone says, “Oh, so you’re a doula?” and you have an instantaneous new friend, just because they know the word.
You understand that even an extremely difficult labor and birth can still be joyful and empowering for a new mother if she is surrounded by people who show her respect, love, patience and options.
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You might be a doula if; you hear your 11 year old son say, ‘I wish she would just eat some fresh pineapple and we’d get a low pressure so we can have a baby. Come on baby! I want to go on vacation!!!’
You might be a doula if: when the whole large family of 9 kids and the first new bride joins the family for the first family picture at this wedding and there are a ‘sea of cameras’ looking to take the first full family picture and the youngest (a 9 year old boy) says loudly, ’ SAY PLACENTA’ and you get the best family picture ever!
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